I've had a rough couple of weeks, months really. I've been working way too much and I don't know how to stop. I never really had this problem before, but I'm learning that I'm not very good at balancing work and life. Or maybe it's just this particular work I'm doing right now.

Many days I feel totally empty. This week for instance, J T. was traveling, and I worked every day from about 7:30 am to 7:30 pm, except for last night when I had a hair appt. I feel rather empty. One night a few weeks ago, I laid down on the bed and listened to all my favorite songs on my iPod - I really hardly ever listen to the thing, but that night for some reason I felt like it. Well, the dam broke and I cried and cried - I don't really even know why. Just needed a release I guess.

I'm not taking care of myself, and I know that's part of the issue. While logically, I know I should, I just can't seem to jump over the hurdle of being so tired that all I eat for dinner is deli turkey right out of the package, corn chips, and Cadbury mini chocolate eggs. No exercise to speak of. Sometimes I worry about the toll it's taking on my body - am I losing days or years of life?? Overly dramatic, maybe, but when you're tired, you think these thought.

I had a dream last night that the building I work in broke in half during a storm. The top three floors - we were on the top floor - was blown through the air and landed on an island. When we got there, my family was there. The boys were little - maybe 6 and 8. And the worst part of it was that Andy's arm had been amputated. It had happened earlier in the year, and was healed. I was complaining about what a terrible year we'd had - there had been a fire at work, then Andy's arm, and now the building torn in half. Then J T. disappeared, and when he came back, I asked him where he'd been and he wouldn't answer me . I yelled at him that he was useless.

Who has dreams like this but a totally stressed out person???